essence

The "Theory of Holes". This theory says we are born as Beings of Essence, but through lack of recognition, trauma and devaluation in our formative years we lose contact with our Essential nature. This disconnection is experienced as a sense of deficiency or lack, ("holes"), and becomes the core of the personality structure. The deficiencies or loss of contact with Essence are compensated for by personality structures which try to imitate Essence which we refer to as "filling the hole". For example, someone with a deficiency in the Essential quality of Strength will often be the one efforting the most to portray an image of being strong. This method works to uncover the "holes" or deficiencies through self-inquiry; to see and understand the defenses that protect a hole and to support a person to relax into the hole rather than effort to fill it through compensating behavior. When relaxation happens and the uncomfortable feeling of deficiency is tolerated with compassion and presence, Essence is contacted and the missing quality arises from our Being.

The foundations of this work are presence, openness and understanding: an honest exploration of our structure and the capacity to be with "what is". It is not about personality adjustment or fixing ourselves but discovering what we already are and reclaiming through loving awareness what we have lost contact with.